Shot Fairies

I’m not an extremely loving person. I don’t often feel empathy or compassion as I walk the city streets, on the contrary. As I navigate through the unwashed masses I often contemplate overpopulation, broken government, and corrupt economics. Where once there was a passionate heart that swelled from my chest and beat in time to humanity, now lays only a quiet and expansive void age and jadedness has gifted me.

But then…Hark! An angel cries! There is a way to heal the spirit and conjure the flow of kindness from the heart; the same way a stream of golden spirits flows from the lip of a bottle.

To cross social boundaries and offer a perfect stranger a shot of whiskey. To connect with the tired mother, the weary traveller, the dreary office worker, the Planned Parenthood petitioner and whatnot…..shots for everyone!

Shot fairy Caitlin demonstrating to herself how to take another shot..

Shot fairy Michael. Drunki-ity drunk-ity doo...

Below are the characters Micheal McKinney and I encountered. I took photos, Micheal captioned.

A peek at a shot fairies tools of the trade

This young man and his girl were the first to agree to a sidewalk-shot of whiskey. They were shy and cute and (to the young lady's dismay) he probably got whiskey dick later at home.

Maybe his impotence caused her to get hurt feelings. Then they got into a fight and she cries but then they make up and have the best sex of their young lives, and it all began with an innocent shot of whiskey courtesy of your local shot fairies. Yes, your welcome

This guy was sooooo fucking happy. Impossibly happy. Probably a good samaritan and just an all-around great guy too. Like if Jesus Christ took ecstasy. Thats what this guy was like. Crazy good vibes. †

Caitlin: would you ladies like a free shot of whiskey? black mama: Hell yes we wanna free shot of whiskey! White chick: I don't know, I just had a baby. Caitlin: yea you probably shouldn't. black mama: Pour her one. Michael: Ok. Caitlin: you dont have to take one. White chick: well... I guess it's ok... black mama: yea girl! four year old child: mom whats that? Black mama: It's mommy's medicine.

The woman carrying dead birds around in a bag sadly said no. She doesn't drink. She insisted we take her picture anyway

This guy stepped off of the bus, on his way home from the architecture studio downtown, where he designs buildings, probably eco-friendly sustainable ones, and had a shot of our dixie cup whiskey. After chatting with him for a minute, Caitlin surmised that THIS is the type of man you wanna marry.

This old, nice looking guy was, apparently, a "full time dad". I would probably drink random whiskey from strangers on the street too if I was a full time dad. Also, he said he was on his way home from a "group therapy session". Did we just pour a recovering alcoholic a shot of whiskey?

This girl in planned parenthood garb started shooting us her planned parenthood speal. You know the one. Then we interrupted her with a simple question, " Would you like a free shot of whiskey?" She quickly dropped the planned parenthood ego and said yes, but that her field manager was standing 15 feet away so we'd have to pretend to look at some paperwork she had, thus blocking her bosses view of her. Happiness!


2 Comments on “Shot Fairies”

  1. ratonrose says:

    sooooo rad!!! Is it wrong to try and run into you shot fairys if you ever do it again??

  2. lveeuh says:

    Dear shot fairies, I’d be very pleased and happy with life if you stopped by the shop that I work at to bless me with a shot of whiskey the next time you guys are flying about.

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